Exercise that Angela had us do at the top of class:
“Qualities that make a great coach”

Empathy*
Openness*
A sense of play
Great interpersonal communication skills*
Patience*
Wisdom*
Great listening skills*
Generosity*
Kindness*

My confidence level as a coach: 7

Comments I made about confidence in coaching: my confidence was low before my first session with Gail. As I did the session and after I felt my confidence grow. It reminded me of the Emerson quote: “Do the thing and you shall have the power”. That was my experience – doing the coaching gave me the power.

How to ask for feedback from client:
“What are you taking away from this session?”
Or have the client fill in a short form.

Other good qualities from classmates:

Asks good questions*

Inspirational

Honest

Adaptable*

Resourceful

Enthusiasm*

I asterixed the ones that I believe that I already have – I didn’t mark ‘Honesty” as I wonder how honest I’ve been  with Gail – maybe my standard here is not realistic.

Biographies: some things to think about…

Coaching Style;  What I Offer;  What Makes Me Unique; Training

The material here seems to tilt toward preferring Responding, as a superior manner of behaving. However, there are benefits such as Intuition and Instinct that can be gleaned from Reacting.
Awareness is the key: it is important to be aware of the one’s reaction. One can condition Responses to be so swift that they appear as Reactions.
Where does this fit into coaching?
The client can be brought to a place of awareness around whether they are over-relying on Reactions rather than Responses.
How to condition a new response? Thoughtful habit forming. Out of a thought an emotion was formed; from an emotion, an action was born; of an action a habit was forged; of a habit, a character was wrought; from character, a destiny was fulfilled.
Before thought, one must be aware.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” –Aristotle
“We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.” –John Dryden

Fear of taking on too much? Fear of over-reaching?
- I’ve got my peer-coach now. I’ve got a coach outside ICA.

Office-space: I’m planning on keeping my workspace at PIB for coaching – using office space here. Ultimately I’d like to have a split home/away office.

One of the things I need to develop is my ability to write articles. How to do that? It’s like dating a nun: Just get in the habit (!) I need to find a time/space that I can dedicate to writing.

Marketing: I could go to IMEchE and see if there’s a US chapter.

The definition of ‘Challenging’ here is crucial. Is a personality difference? Is it “inaction” on the client’s behalf? Is it that the client is not coachable (yet)?

Regardless of how the client behaves, how ‘challenging’ the client is, the opportunity lies is how we deal with the client.. In other words…what can I do to make the situation work? That is a more empowering position. Certainly more so than thinking, “That person is difficult – I wish they’d change”. Better to think, “What can I do to accommodate this person / situation?

Model is closer to what the coach does during coaching.

Process is closer to what the client experiences over the period that s/he is coached.

Mercy Miglino uses minimum of 3-month ‘contract’ with client. Often coaches will use 3-month, 6-month, 12-month package (possibility with discounts) – helps to frame the process, and also set expectations.

Honeymoon Phase: is it possible to have more than one? Refresh the goals – revisit — celebrate achievements — do lessons learned – see what works / can be improved. Use Project Management Best Practices.

Peaks & Valleys: What to do when the client gets stuck in a rut?
- Enthusing
- Identify UACs
- Question
- Try to move client toward action

I think the way to get a client out of a rut is to provide ENERGY- this can be in the form of injecting energy by enthusing, or making the client self-energize by questioning, or changing perpsective, etc.

Coaching looks like a conversation.

5-step Coaching Process:
1. Gap analysis – goal setting
2. Inventory of resources & obstacles
3. Devise strategy to achieve goal considering available resources & obstacles to be overcome
4. Work the plan
5. Celebration

Quitting zone: 3-4 months into it – create packages to accommodate (possible solution)

Need to follow up with Prabha on the Discussion Board to get the ‘LifeLine’ tool.

A good structure for confidence building with a client is a regular check-in at the start of a coaching session.

1. Para-phrasing
2. Re-iterating
3. Playing back Keywords
4. Asking clarifying questions

Afterward, Sherry was very complimentary and identified that I’d used at least the following:

• Verbal Acknowledgment (“uh-huh”, “yes”, etc) – useful on the phone to let someone know you’re listening
• “I heard to say that made you feel rewarded”
• Identified her repetition of “niche”
• Asked clarifying questions and phrases…e.g. “what I’m hearing you say is…”, “Am I right in my understanding that…”, “Your concern seems to be…”
• Asked permission to ask a question and bought time to ask it write…”Let me think for a moment to ensure that I articulate it correctly…”

When Sherry called time, Corrine indicated that it was a useful experience for her.   After Sherry’s feedback, I asked her for more feedback and she responded that it was a indeed a very impactful experience for her.

This was an empowering experience for me. It gave me confidence that I can do this and do it well. I also enjoyed the sense of helping Corinne.

Multi-tasking might be a bane.

No – it’s just not a great class.

Insight: The responsibility for action remains with the client, not with the coach.

We had someone snoring on the phone as classmates tried to “trial-coach”. Disappointing. Sherry tried her best. Not a great class, sadly.

Acknowledgment can be like a natural extension of Active Listening.  The verbal / non-verbal cues of active listening can be extrapolated into a (semi-)formal acknowledgment.  It can be like the reciprocal ‘tennis shot’ that you use to reply to what someone has shared with you.

Being present is a form of acknowledgment.

Active Listening is a more intense form of acknowledgment.

Asking “How did that make you feel?”, “How do you feel about that?” — good forms of acknowledgment.

Today in class I volunteered to participate in a brief exercise.  I played “listener/acknowledger” to a classmate who explained what she did/accomplished last week.  I found the exercise engaging;  I felt good afterward; the activity felt natural and I felt at ease doing it.  This was encouraging — I think I’ll be a good coach.

Generally the more I particiapte in class the more I get out of it.  Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to ‘hog’ the class time, but I should participate as much as I feel comfortable with.  The question now is…“Should I force myself to participate more?”